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사막에서 샘이 넘쳐 흐르리라.(박영돈)

사막에서 샘이 넘쳐 흐르리라

우리의 삶은 참 고달프다. 주님은 우리의 존재 깊은 곳에 생수의 강이 흐른다고 말씀하셨지만 우리 밖의 현실은 메마르고 거친 사막과 같다. 그래서 우리를 지치고 곤비하게 한다. 그럴 때 우리 안에 생수를 길어 올릴 믿음의 긴 줄이 필요한데 우리는 너무 낙담해서 그 믿음의 줄을 놓아버리고 주저앉아 탄식하기 일쑤다.

과거 이스라엘 백성들이 광야에서 주님의 말씀을 믿고 ‘우물물아 솟아나라’고 노래하며(민21:17) 지팡이로 모래를 파자 샘물이 솟아나왔다. 우리도 어떠한 상황을 만날지라도 믿음과 찬양으로 반응하면 우리 앞에 샘물이 흐르게 된다. 찬양의 긴 줄에 달린 믿음만이 우리 존재의 깊은 곳에 있는 생수를 길어 올릴 수 있다. 어두움과 역경 속에서 찬미하는 것보다 주님을 더 기쁘시게 하는 것이 없다. 불평은 하나님의 심판을 부르지만 찬양은 사막에서 샘이 넘쳐흐르게 한다. 광야와 같은 세상 살아가면서 곤고할 때 우리 안에 성령의 생수를 길어 올리는 비결은 찬양하는 믿음이다. 기쁨으로 구원의 우물에서 물을 기르는 것이다.

그러나 고통스럽고 어두운 현실 속에서 찬양한다는 것이 어디 말처럼 쉬운 일인가? 그런 상황에서 낙심하고 불평하는 것이 우리 육신의 자연스러운 반응이다. 우리 안에서 생래적으로 그런 찬양이 일어날리 만무하다. 우리는 오히려 우리를 고달픈 상황 속에 집어넣어 괴롭히는 하나님의 얄궂은 섭리에 반항하며 불평함으로 그런 하나님께 복수하고 싶어진다. 그러나 그렇게 자신의 처지를 한탄하고 짜증내봐야 우리 삶이 점점 더 괴로워 견딜 수 없게 될 뿐이라는 것을 절감하게 된다. 우리는 불평이 불러오는 우리 안팎에 존재하는 두 개의 지옥을 체험하고 난 후에야 어쩔 수 없이 찬양으로 돌파구를 찾는다. 그제야 찬양이 내적 평안과 외적인 구원이라는 두 개의 천국을 가져다준다는 믿음의 신비를 깨달고 주님께 깊은 찬미의 제사를 드린다. 곤고함 속에서 주님의 도우심과 구원을 오래 기다리고 있는 그대여, 구원이 당신의 노래 속에 임한다는 것을 알고 주님을 찬양하라.

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