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	정성엽

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다윗의 슬픔의 노래

다윗은 사울과 요나단의 죽음으로 슬픔에 젖었다. 다윗의 슬픈 노래는 우리로 하나님 앞에 살아가는 자가 배워야하는 체험으로 이끈다.
삶을 완전히 누리기 위해서는 죽음과 대면해야 한다. 다윗은 상실과 실망과 죽음에 직면하지만 회피하거나 부인하거나 경시하지 않는다. 다윗의 슬픔은 생명력의 표출이다. 신문과 텔레비전이  끔찍한 사건들을 상세히 보도하지만 그 일들에 대한 슬픔의 글은 잘 보이지 않는다. 사람의 생명이 생명이 아니라 뉴스거리로 여겨질 뿐이다.

다윗은 사울과 요나단의 죽음을 똑같이 애도하고 똑같이 고귀하게 높인다. 사울에 대한 기름부음, 하나님이 사울에게 하신 일이 사울이 다윗에게 한 어떤 일보다 중요했다. 사울의  증오는 오히려 다윗을 넉넉한 사람으로 만들어 갔다. 요나단과 다윗의 우정은 서로를 최선의 자신이게 만들어 주는 우정이었다.
다윗은 상실에도 불구하고 빈곤해지지 않는다. 오히려 그 마음을 시로 표현한다. 깊이 경험하고 받아들여 내 것이 된 고통은 시를 낳는다. 다윗은 이 노래를 사람들에게 배우라고 명령한다. 미움과 우정 때문에 겪는 고통이 만들어 내는 아픔을 어떻게 진지하게 다뤄야 하는지 서로에게 가르치라. 그리하여 우리 삶이 그 고통들로 인해 빈곤해 지는 것이 아니라 더 깊어지도록 말이다.

우리는 슬퍼하는 법을 배워야 한다. 결국 우리는 죽게 되어있다. 우리와 주변 사람들은 모두 언젠가는 반드시 죽게 되어 있다. 이를 받아들이라. 당신의 십자가를 지라. 이것이 부활을 준비하는 삶이다.

우리는 어려운 부분은 건너뛰고 고통스러운 부분은 지워 없애고 실망되는 부분은 돌아서 가려 해서는 안 된다. 상실을 유익으로 삼는 삶은 우리가 하나님의 이야기 안에 머무는 중요한 방식이다. 하나님은 우리가 우리의 이야기를 삭제, 편집하는 것을 원치 앉으신다. 그러나 그 분은 우리가 그 안에서 노래하는 것은 참으로 기뻐하신다.

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